Why I write: To find out what I think. To find out that what I think is muddled. To unmuddle what I think. To think something else altogether, because writing what I already think gets boring fast. To defy the rules of physics: lo, one can indeed create something from nothing. To defy just about any rule, actually—to upend orthodoxies, and to deliberately offend. To crack myself up. To be mischievous and annoy people. To be mischievous and reach out to fellow travelers, who are also a bit wicked. And to fill my idle hours with something besides red wine and television.